It’s overwhelming just how much life goes on! You think you’ve learned something, and that was that, but then more things happen, and what was simple becomes complicated and what was complicated becomes simple!
Memory is like a movie montage, where everything is seen at once and swirled into a coherent sense, disparate but somehow unified. Existence, however, is more like sitting around behind the scenes of that montage; other people walk around you busy as hell, and you’re just there, not sure what to do, waiting for someone -anyone!- to call you in!
To call it growth seems silly! To get bigger is to get closer to disappearing! To have is to have taken and to lose soon enough! Myths can *only* be written and shared, they can’t actually be lived! A coherent life requires a constant process of self-involved, exhausting, wildly arbitrary fictionalization… I don’t think I can be bothered!